Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The beers last night were like the tears from god
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
