no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
