I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
