I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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