It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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