he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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