She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
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His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
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Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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