I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize