I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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