Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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