make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
