Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
