it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.