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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.

  Fav 14 5668 1229

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips

  Fav 6 3289 1297

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• (518): View more from New York

  I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.

  Fav 16 1594 2229

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.

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• (415): View more from California

  I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance

  Fav 2 318 93

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