quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
