Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk

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  (352): I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk http://tfl.nu/lbo9
  Replies (7) Good night (3159) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?

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  (305): considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it? http://tfl.nu/ijgp
  Replies (40) Good night (1011) Bad night (9647)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home

  (419): View more from Ohio

  move.

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  (513): i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home (419): move. http://tfl.nu/91am
  Replies (19) Good night (1123) Bad night (7457)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.

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  (505): judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too. http://tfl.nu/lecl
  Replies (5) Good night (3133) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.

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  (410): Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe. http://tfl.nu/rdse
  Replies (5) Good night (1067) Bad night (2609)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.

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  (509): I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore. http://tfl.nu/24ew
  Replies (10) Good night (1158) Bad night (2237)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.

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  (714): I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go. http://tfl.nu/ktl8
  Replies (14) Good night (2055) Bad night (803)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.

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  (413): If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night. http://tfl.nu/7nph
  Replies (6) Good night (2129) Bad night (1549)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye

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  (360): Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye http://tfl.nu/wt8g
  Replies (5) Good night (616) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.

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  (434): Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority. http://tfl.nu/mqpz
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.

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  (+27): He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life. http://tfl.nu/h7su
  Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"

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  (858): she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec" http://tfl.nu/979e
  Replies (0) Good night (662) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing

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  (847): He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing http://tfl.nu/4q9w
  Replies (0) Good night (502) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️

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  (609): Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️ http://tfl.nu/486i
  Replies (1) Good night (789) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.

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  (512): He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker. http://tfl.nu/4xj0
  Replies (5) Good night (456) Bad night (345)

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