Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
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Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
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I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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