Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
