There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
