they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
