Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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