All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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