He told me they were just razor bumps!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Found your dick twin last night
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Thank you for not boning my boss.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
