everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
