apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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