8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
