i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
