so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
