stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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