I've blown a few things in my day
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
