so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
