what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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