So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
