So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
