..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
