Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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