yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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