i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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