Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Can you bring me the toilet please
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
