In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
