I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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