About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just had sex bonerless
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Randomize
