I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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