I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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