okay pat passed out under dana's car
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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