Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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