i think my tv is drunk
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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