I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
