foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
