I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
you never un-have a 4some
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
