i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
