super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
