fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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