I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
