Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
wow bdsm is so cute
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
