you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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