I heard we made out
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
