boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Ladies don't puke and tell
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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