I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
its not stalking. its research.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
