I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
is wine microwaveable?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
