if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
